The Judgement
The Judgement
Decision 48,391,122
The creator intentionally manufactured humiliation for commercial gain.
The subject did not meaningfully consent.
98.4% of the video's value derived from the subject's involuntary participation.
Orders:
* Revenue transferred: 98.4% to Ellen.
* Future revenue redirected automatically.
* Copies removed from recommendation systems.
* Original retained only in archival storage for historical integrity.
* Creator assigned a permanent "Exploitative Content" trust penalty, reducing future distribution until demonstrated behavioural change.“Dude, it fucking ruled the wrong way.”
I’d been waiting for this. Of course it had. Still, may as well humour the guy.
“Oh man, that’s a shame. What was the reason?”
“I mean… I sold the Golf, right? It said the car was clearly fucked before I sold it. Pulled a bunch of service records, CCTV and all that. But I dunno, it was driving alright, remember?”
I remembered. A burning smell and the occasional bang.
“What’re you gonna do?”
“What can I do?”
“You didn’t have to ask for a Judgement.”
“Yeah, but the guy was saying I ripped him off. He wanted half the money back.”
He sighed.
“And how much do you owe now?”
“All of it.”
“Shit.”
“Shit.”
“Best not to mess with the Judgement. You can’t trick it, man. You know that.”
“Yeah, I thought I might get lucky, y’know?”
He said it quietly and looked around like the Judgement might hear.
I shook my head.
“So what’re you gonna do?”
“Well…”
He paused, then said:
“I saw a post. You know that guy mike_does_bits?”
“The supermarket guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Thought he disappeared.”
“Nah. The Judgement took everything. Revenue, sponsorships, even the repost money. Last I heard he was living with his mum.”
“Kinda deserved it, though. Bit of a dick.”
“Well, maybe. But not any more.”
“What do you mean?”
“He joined The Temple.”
“Seriously?”
“Reckons they’ve found a hidden prompt.”
I stared at him.
“But you already got the ruling…”
“They say it doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t?”
“Whether it happened yet.”
I laughed.
He didn’t.
“You’re serious?”
“Yeah. They’ve got examples.”
“Of what?”
“People who’ve had decisions changed.”
I shook my head.
“Impossible.”
“That’s what I thought.”
He finished his pint.
“I’m going on Thursday.”